I've been off the blog for a bit because of craziness in my life (read: Homework, Thesis, and life in general), but today I'm finally starting to wind back together some order in my life.
Yesterday was the epic Solemnity of the Annunciation! So, the day when we celebrate Mary choosing to become the Mother of God, the day when tiny, little, Baby Jesus was conceived in Mary's womb. The day when the Word became Flesh. It's epic. Each year, I get more and more excited for the Solemnity, consume larger quantities of delicious food, and tell more people that we need to celebrate this day!
Not only was yesterday this amazing Solemnity, but it was also the four year anniversary of this blog! That weirds me out. The past four years have flown by, and I can't believe all of the insanity that God has brought my way, and what He has done through the whole blogging experience.
On March 25, 2011, at 9:50 p.m., I posted the following:
"Holy Spirit, command me to do Your will!"~Fr. Stan Fortuna, CFR
I was not planning to start a blog now. I figured, a couple months down the road and yeah-why not-I'll start a blog. Obviously, that's not happening! Why? Well, as I read on the blog of a good friend of mine, I suddenly felt an urge-divine?-that I need to start this blog. Now. And if there's one thing I've learned about divine urges, it's this: when the slightest urge is felt, give it a thought and prayer. So here I am, typing, with no idea where this post is going, or where this blog will go. Okay.
But I guess that's how life should be anyway. Mother Angelica once said that "Faith is one foot on the ground, one foot in the air, and a queasy feeling in the stomach." How true! Faith is the virtue by which we blindly give everything over to God. Everything. That can really, really be hard. Because in order to give one's life over to someone else, that person must trust the other fully. And let's face it, trust is hard to come by. So here's a little urging to trust God in a whole new way with your life. Wherever you are-maybe you've got the trust thing going on, maybe not. Whatever stage you happen to be at, take this chance to give God a try. The Divine Mercy image has the words "Jesus, I trust in You." Pray these words--pray, don't just 'say'--and give God a chance.
"O Holy Spirit, beloved of my soul, I adore You. Enlighten me, guide me, strengthen me, console me. Tell me what I should do; give me Your orders. I promise to submit myself to all that You desire of me; to accept all that You permit to happen to me. Let me only know Your will. Amen." ~Cardinal Mercier
The past four years have shown me just how powerful the Holy Spirit can be. I'm not very savvy with technology (as you may have noticed with formatting and design issues over the course of this blog), but my mind is blown as how the Holy Spirit could take a little urge to epic heights. See, I didn't know exactly where to go with my blog. Most of my early blog posts involved weird spiritual analogies and passionate rushes of joyful "GOD IS SO COOL!!" posts. Looking at my blog now, I'm still that way a lot of times, but I've also matured as a writer and as a Catholic woman.
A big turning point came about a year ago, when my blogging experience led me to become a volunteer blogger with the Chastity Project. I am completely honest, I had no idea what Chastity Project was at that time, I just thought, Hey, I'm a casual blogger. I like chastity. This may work out. It wasn't until some friends of mine started freaking out when my first blog post was published, that I realized, Oh. Jason Evert runs that website. And lots of people will see what I write and can be impacted by me for better-or worse. This development really affected the way I saw my personal blog. This blog is a place for me to ponder life, and to talk about seeking God in our crazy world. But I had never thought about how people I've never met may read my blog and be deeply affected by it (btw, my latest post is here).
Over the past several months, a few different people I've never met have contacted me through this blog, communicating their appreciation for something I wrote or asking me about deep topics. When I've seen some of the comments people have left on my Chastity Project blog posts, I've actually cried at the beauty and amazingness of how they were touched by something I wrote. This whole experience is very humbling for me. When I first started my blog in 2011, I had no idea where the Holy Spirit would take me--or the blog. I am in awe of God's work: I gave Him a bit of willingness and a lack of understanding, and He did some really great things. Blogging has shown me that whatever we do will impact others--so do it for the glory of God, with openness and submission to His will.
As Mary gave her fiat to God, let us give Him our fiat each and every day!