Dear Milk Chocolate,
We need to talk.
It’s almost Valentine’s Day, and as people around the nation flock towards you, I’m sure you’re expecting me to do the same. We’ve been together for quite some time, and you seem pretty committed to our relationship. I wish I could say the same about you. I believe in being straightforward, so I’m not going to beat around the bush.
Milk Chocolate, you’re a great friend. Yes, a friend. If you want a lifelong commitment, I don’t want you to wait for me. There are other people out there who desire that bond with you, but not me. Not anymore.
I’m sure you’re wondering what caused this sudden revelation. And yes, it was sudden. I’ve always had a close relationship with you, but I recently realized that things have changed profoundly. You see, I was presented with a rich truffle. It was you, Milk Chocolate, looking your best. I expected to greatly enjoy this, but the first thought that crossed my mind was: I’d rather be with Dark Chocolate right now.
I know this news must hurt, but I need to be honest with you. My heart no longer yearns for the rich, sweet flavor that you possess. You’re still great, don’t take this the wrong way. In small amounts, or when in the company of Peanut Butter, Potato Chips, or Caramel, you’re fantastic. And you’re quite a delightful friend to be with at parties. But when it comes to a committed relationship, well, I’ve been courted by your ebony relative.
For years, Dark Chocolate has been wooing my heart. I think it all started when I was a little girl, and the Hershey’s Special Dark mini chocolate bars gleamed up at me from my Christmas stocking. While I still relished the site of foil-wrapped Milk Chocolate Kisses, these Special Dark bars held a particular attraction. Bitter and aloof, they stood apart from the rest of the candy like Mr. Darcy at the Meryton assembly.
Over the years, I matured and became more discerning in my relationships… and I longed for Dark Chocolate more and more. And now I find myself passing over those shiny, foil-wrapped Kisses of yours and instead choosing my treats based on the percentage of cacao. The higher the percentage, the better.
Milk Chocolate, I hope you don’t take this news too hard. Like I said, you’re a great friend, and fun to be around. You have many good qualities, and I’m sure that some other girl will leap at the chance to commit to a long-term relationship with you.
But as for me, I’ll be savoring time spent with my bold, loyal companion, Dark Chocolate.